Busta Rhymes’ Embarrassing Arrest

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “Oh, and this morning in New York City, the rapper Busta Rhymes was arrested on a DUI. Yeah. And he was very embarrassed. See what happened? In his car, they could not find one gun. Oh, my God. That was terrible.”

Hip Hop Cleaning Up

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “The big time hip-hop promoter Russell Simmons has suggested the recording industry ban the words ‘bitches’ and ‘hos’. You know what that means for rappers – no more love songs.”

Diddy’s New Rap Name

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday night, “P. Diddy claims, in a a recent interview, he and his girlfriend had tantric sex for 30 hours straight. 30 hours? Huh? I don’t think P. Diddy didn’t even have the same name for 30 hours. … In fact, now he has a a new rap name – Busta Groin. … Let me ask you about this 30-hour sex thing. How does that work the next time they have sex? Let’s say he only lasts 28 hours. Does he have to apologize? ‘Honey, I’m sorry. This never happened to me before.’ Is it one of those things?”

What Tipped Off Swedes To Snoop’s Drug Bust

Conan O’Brien joked during his Late Night monologue on Thursday night, “This week in Sweden, police arrested rapper Snoop Dogg on drug charges. [Audience aws] Yeah, Swedish police became suspicious when Snoop Dogg showed up at Ikea and ordered 2,500 meatballs.”

Trouble For Snoop Dogg

Conan O’Brien joked during his Late Night monologue on Monday night, “Early today in Sweden, police arrested rapper Snoop Dogg on drug charges. Snoop Dogg says he accidentally wandered into Sweden on his way from Amsterdam to the bathroom.”

Slump In Rap

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Friday night, “The music industry is stumped by the huge drop in sales of rap music. Sales of rap music down 21% this past year. And a lot of rappers have had to cut back on their lifestyle. In fact, it’s so bad, did you hear about this? Rappers now have to choose between bitches or hos. … Well, you know, a lot of rappers now getting rid of the gold in their front teeth. They are going to go with the aluminum siding. It’s cheaper, more durable.”

K-Fed Apology

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Monday night, “Kevin Federline apologized if his fast food commercial offended anyone. Fast fo commercial? How about an apology for that rap album he put out? Let’s start with that!”

Man Arrested With Pot In His Tires

Conan O’Brien joked during his ‘Late Night’ monologue the other night, “Police in Kentucky arrested a man who had over 80 pounds of marijuana hidden in his tires. Police became suspicious when they saw Snoop Dogg chasing the car for two miles.”

‘The White Rapper Show’ Coming to VH1

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Thursday night, “VH1 is coming out with a new reality program called ‘The White Rapper Show’. It’s ten white guys, who all want to be rappers, and they all live in one house together. The winner gets to record an album. The losers have to listen to it.”

K-Fed Beats Cena

Jay Leno joked during his Tonight Show monologue on Tuesday night, “Last night in WWE wrestling, Kevin Federline pinned and beat the champion, John Cena. How about that? That should end the rumors that wrestling is fake! … He pinned him. You know, usually when K-Fed’s lying on top of someone for ten seconds, they get pregnant. So, this is a whole new deal.”

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