Triumph The Insult Comic Says He’s Doing Fine

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog issued a statement to his fans on his official website Friday, following his near bust-up with at the Video Music Awards on Thursday. “I would like all of you to know that I am fine, that the scuffle at the MTV awards involving Eminem, Moby and Eminem’s trusty friend who threw my pooping paper in the air did not result in permanent injury,” Triumph assured fans. “As soon as Christina Aguilera came out, I licked myself as a test and my pink thing was perfectly functional. You will be glad to know that Moby also licked himself and all systems were go.”

He continued, “It was unfortunate that such an incident had to happen, especially on Michael Jackson’s birthday, a day when we should all be embracing one another and humping our chimpanzees. The tone had been set for a lovely evening by Britney Spears, who is now hanging with Michael, thus ensuring she will remain a virgin indefinitely. as you now, my goal is never to set off scuffles and controversy, only to poop on and humiliate others. I only wish Eminem could relax and enjoy all he has: his unique talent, and his smooth white hair, which brings to mind a beagle’s nut sack. He should lighten up…I mean, my mom was a bitch too, but I don’t go writing sings about it.”

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One thought on “Triumph The Insult Comic Says He’s Doing Fine

  1. plo says:

    Oh Triumph may you live many more years so that we can enjoy your humor for many generations.

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